The last of the guests from one of my parents’ infamous parties left at four in the morning. I tried to stay up and be a part of everything, but of course I was too young and sent to bed. Their parties were always off the chain; plenty of people, music, alcohol, marijuana, amongst other things, and spades games that made people come to blows. I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to attend their parties.
I heard the front door close and rolled over in my bed to try and go back to sleep. That’s when it began.
“Cliff, what the fuck is up wit’ you and Carol?”
Carol was one of my parents’ classmates. My parents had just graduated from law school at Georgia State. The plan was for the two of them to become successful attorneys. At seven years old, many of my friends were jealous of me because my parents were still together and they were trying to make a better life for us. Most of my friends came from single parent homes. Not that being from a single parent home was a problem. Hell, when the fighting began in my house, I wished that I was too.
“Here we go again Patrice! There is nothing going on between me and Carol. I could really get tired of you imagining things!”
“Imagining things! I saw her follow you when you went to get a drink from the kitchen! Just admit that you two are fucking!”
“Hell no! There’s nothing going on between us, Patrice! It’s early in the morning and I’m not playing these games with you.”
I heard my mother storm off to the kitchen. She was most likely drunk and high. My dad had recently stopped his recreational smoking and drinking in preparation for his career as a lawyer. My mother, on the other hand, still indulged.
Clifton Lawson and Patrice Reed had been an item since they attended Atlanta’s Douglas High School. My mother was pregnant with me when she walked across the stage at their graduation. They talked about marriage, but put off their plans until they graduated from college. My dad figured that it would be hard enough to raise a child and study, so he convinced my mother that they should wait to get married. So they got a place and started their life together. They each took a year off of before applying to the university after I was born and worked as they attended community college. The next year, they each applied and were accepted to Georgia State University and studied law.
I heard them fight many times, but I also saw them make up. I just always thought that maybe they were stressed out, because having a kid and going to school had to be tough.
“I won’t have you cheating on me Clifton Lawson!” A dish crashed against the wall. I visualized my dad ducking as the glass shattered against the wall. I curled up with my pillow in the bed. It would be another rowdy night.
“Patrice, come on! You know I’m not cheating! You’re just high. You get real paranoid when you’re high.”
“I wasn’t high when I saw the way that you were staring at her tonight! I bet you want her don’t you?” my mother cried out. “I bet you already fucked her!”
“I’m only going to tell you once more! I don’t want that woman!”
“Well then why haven’t we made wedding plans, Cliff? What, I’m good enough to play house with and have your child, but not good enough to marry?”
I heard my dad growl angrily. “You know that’s not true Patrice! I don’t know what world you’re living in, but you know that’s not true.”
Another dish hit the wall. I heard a slap and I knew that was the sound of my mother’s open hand connecting with the chocolate brown skin on my dad’s cheek. A commotion followed and that meant that she attacked him. I had seen it happen before. I knew that he loved her, but I was also smart enough to know that it was a matter of time before he was fed up with her abuse.
“Patrice! Get off of me! Stop acting like this!” my dad said between breaths.
“No, you stop Cliff! I’m taking Mia and I’m leaving!”
“You can’t do that, Patrice. You can’t take my baby girl from me. Especially when I haven’t done anything.”
“Yes I can!”
I heard my mother breathing heavily as she walked towards my bedroom. A sliver of light from the hallway entered my room as she opened the door. I closed my eyes tightly and pretended to be sleeping.
“Mia! Mia! Get up!” she whispered loudly.
I could hear my father yelling from the hallway for her to leave me alone and saying how she could not drive while she was under the influence.
I continued to fake being sleep. I didn’t want any part of this. I hated when they went at each other. Their relationship was always one of two extremes; either they were in love or they hated each other.
My mother grabbed my jacket and wrapped it around me as she picked me up. I groggily wrapped my arms around my shoulder, making sure to keep my eyes closed.
She walked into the hallway and grabbed her keys and purse.
“Patrice don’t do this! Just calm down. We can talk about this.”
“There is nothing to talk about Cliff. I know what I saw.” She pushed his arm off of her shoulder. I opened my eyes slightly and saw the distress on my dad’s face. There was a pile of broken dishes in the corner adding to the leftover remnants of the party.
My eyes met my dad’s. The heartbreaking expression on his face let me know that my mother was having another one of her episodes. I wondered why she had to act like that. My dad was a good man. I knew that we were on our way over to Aunt Lena’s, my mother’s twin.
My dad mouthed the words “I love you, Mia” to me as my mother carried me out of the door. I knew somewhere deep down that this night was different from all of the rest when they fought. My dad stood in the doorway, conflicted over how he would continue to live his life like this. I wasn’t sure how he could take it anymore myself. I knew from that night on, things in our home had changed forever....
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